Finally.....

My hair was conditioned well and I did experience a bit more healing after pouring the oil over my head in the shower (didn't want to make a mess).  However, later I came to understand the healing wasn't from the oil.  It was faith and belief drawing me to sanity.  The oil was simply an action birthed from faith.

I think it might be important here to fill you in on things I didn't know yet, but have since learned.  It may help illustrate the process of "losing my mind".  Prior to the year of the crazy, I truly believed if I did everything right, my life would go well and smoothly.  Reality - I was doing everything I believed to be right and still bad things had happened.  Bad things really do happen to good people.  This dichotomy was incredibly difficult to reconcile.

There was also the issue of needing to know.  I had an incredible appetite for knowledge leading me down a path of desire - desiring to know the gossip.  I called it caring for my friends, of course, at the time.  But, it was pride and wanting to know everything.  When the voices, began for me, these voices were playing on that strong desire.  I was straining to hear them out of a need to know what they were communicating.  I actively participated down the path to craziness out of a want to know.  This reminds me of an old phrase, curiosity killed the cat.  Curiosity was destroying my mind.

During my healing process, I learned to lay myself aside for God, not just for people.  I learned it isn't always healthy to lay your life down for another, and that sometimes it is a wonderful experience to lay your life down.  You see, I was laying my life down in a self exalting manner for my family and others.  Busy all the time serving and really never taking time for myself in a healthy way, I was lonely and physically drained.  To this day, I struggle with balance.  I am a work in progress.

As God continued to work in my life, I learned to sing on stage in a choir without feeling self conscious, to speak about a topic with confidence (rather than pride) and to trust God with my life and the life of my child.  Granted, I needed to make wise prayerful decisions while allowing God to direct our paths, but I learned God is God and I am not.

The true key to complete healing was discerning God's voice from the others.  How was I to figure it out?

(c) 2011 Daphne Keys