After my experiences, when things began to settle down in my brain, I studied the bible. For about a year, I took some college level courses through a correspondence type bible school. The church I was involved in offered facilitated class time where we could study, test and ask for help with our studies. This allowed me to experience God in a way I had not before.
My favorite class during these sessions was focused on prayer. Our textbook, other than the bible, titled, "The Spirit Helps Us Pray" by Brandt, Bicket and Horton, was instrumental in helping me to grasp the opportunities when talking to God. It seems, people sometimes get caught up in a bunch of do's or don'ts and when praying. I've learned we really can tell God anything. This may not be a revelation for you, but for me at the time, it was a welcome relief. I had heard many people tell me to pray certain ways. We've all heard it. Name it and claim it, be specific in what you want God to do, being angry with God is sin, without faith God won't heal us, and so on....
I have my conclusions about all of the above rules for prayer. While I don't throw anything out completely, it seems if we spent more time asking God to make our hearts like His, the world would be more like heaven every day. Sharing my heart with Him, is prayer. Praising Him, is prayer. Yelling at Him, is prayer. Some of you probably winced when you read "yelling", but it happens. As a sidebar, I didn't "curse" God, but I told Him I was angry! For those who have experienced incredible loss or pain or sickness or fear, yelling sometimes happens. God can take it....He's stronger than we think.
I determined somewhere along the way that if what He says is true - He loves me, He knows everything, and He wants the best for me whether I know what best looks like or not - then, he can be trusted fully. If I am mad at God, it's okay to tell Him (psst....He already knows). It is also okay to forgive Him. This was an incredible transforming step for me. While He may not be waiting for my forgiveness, He is waiting for me to forgive Him so I can heal. Forgiveness often releases the one who is withholding it.
I came to realize, my anger was not only at my ex-husband and the others who had brought real or perceived harm to me but I was angry at God for not giving me the perfect life I had planned. Picture a toddler throwing a tantrum. Well, my tantrum had been stuffed inside for many years - at least four, probably longer - contributing to the explosion I call the crazy year. When I stopped listening to other's rules and began seeking the truth for myself (with Godly counsel from solid believers), the sanity returned. As a bonus, joy, peace and anticipation for the future also returned.
Relationships are ongoing. I'm still learning about God and about myself. There are times I feel close to Him and times when I feel so far away. This is the roller coaster of relationship....this is true with people as well. For my non believing friends and believing friends alike - apply this to your earthly friendships and relationships. We change, grow and evolve daily. Get to know someone and renew your relationship often. Grow together. Learn who they are today in relation to who you are today.
Lesson for today: Seek God for yourself. Find out who God is. Have a relationship with the person you are trying to know and stop relying on a middle man. The preaching and teaching you hear is meant to enhance your relationship, not replace it. Spend time reading or listening to the bible (in whatever version is most comfortable). Spend time praying and talking to God about your day, your hopes, your sickness, your sadness and your dreams.
If you do this, post to let us know if your life is impacted (better or worse)...we want to share in your joys, sorrows and struggles. Post anonymously if you prefer. We would really like to hear what you have to share. This is the perfect women's group - you can say anything. This is the no judgement zone (like Planet Fitness).
My favorite class during these sessions was focused on prayer. Our textbook, other than the bible, titled, "The Spirit Helps Us Pray" by Brandt, Bicket and Horton, was instrumental in helping me to grasp the opportunities when talking to God. It seems, people sometimes get caught up in a bunch of do's or don'ts and when praying. I've learned we really can tell God anything. This may not be a revelation for you, but for me at the time, it was a welcome relief. I had heard many people tell me to pray certain ways. We've all heard it. Name it and claim it, be specific in what you want God to do, being angry with God is sin, without faith God won't heal us, and so on....
I have my conclusions about all of the above rules for prayer. While I don't throw anything out completely, it seems if we spent more time asking God to make our hearts like His, the world would be more like heaven every day. Sharing my heart with Him, is prayer. Praising Him, is prayer. Yelling at Him, is prayer. Some of you probably winced when you read "yelling", but it happens. As a sidebar, I didn't "curse" God, but I told Him I was angry! For those who have experienced incredible loss or pain or sickness or fear, yelling sometimes happens. God can take it....He's stronger than we think.
I determined somewhere along the way that if what He says is true - He loves me, He knows everything, and He wants the best for me whether I know what best looks like or not - then, he can be trusted fully. If I am mad at God, it's okay to tell Him (psst....He already knows). It is also okay to forgive Him. This was an incredible transforming step for me. While He may not be waiting for my forgiveness, He is waiting for me to forgive Him so I can heal. Forgiveness often releases the one who is withholding it.
I came to realize, my anger was not only at my ex-husband and the others who had brought real or perceived harm to me but I was angry at God for not giving me the perfect life I had planned. Picture a toddler throwing a tantrum. Well, my tantrum had been stuffed inside for many years - at least four, probably longer - contributing to the explosion I call the crazy year. When I stopped listening to other's rules and began seeking the truth for myself (with Godly counsel from solid believers), the sanity returned. As a bonus, joy, peace and anticipation for the future also returned.
Relationships are ongoing. I'm still learning about God and about myself. There are times I feel close to Him and times when I feel so far away. This is the roller coaster of relationship....this is true with people as well. For my non believing friends and believing friends alike - apply this to your earthly friendships and relationships. We change, grow and evolve daily. Get to know someone and renew your relationship often. Grow together. Learn who they are today in relation to who you are today.
Lesson for today: Seek God for yourself. Find out who God is. Have a relationship with the person you are trying to know and stop relying on a middle man. The preaching and teaching you hear is meant to enhance your relationship, not replace it. Spend time reading or listening to the bible (in whatever version is most comfortable). Spend time praying and talking to God about your day, your hopes, your sickness, your sadness and your dreams.
If you do this, post to let us know if your life is impacted (better or worse)...we want to share in your joys, sorrows and struggles. Post anonymously if you prefer. We would really like to hear what you have to share. This is the perfect women's group - you can say anything. This is the no judgement zone (like Planet Fitness).
No comments:
Post a Comment